Sleep, or lack thereof

I think a lot about sleep these days.  How nice it would be, how good it would feel to be rested again, what I could not do so I can get some, what I could do so I can get some.

I was driving somewhere the other day and saw this quote, “People who say they sleep like a baby don’t have one.” Leo J. Burke

It made me laugh because, according to my mom, I’ve never slept like a baby – and certainly was not kind towards her hopes of sleeping.  And now that I have kids and a baby, I sleep even less.  Not only am I awake at least 4-5 times a night with the littlest, I have this terrible problem of not being able to take naps during the day.  Sometimes I try so hard it makes me want to cry (and I have).  I will make sure the baby’s sleeping, the other kids are watching a movie, my husband is on alert, the dog is locked in the garage, whatever it takes so my mind can shut off.  The stage couldn’t be set more perfectly for a peaceful moment of pure sleeping bliss.  After about 15 minutes of laying in bed, I will end up putting a pillow over my head…then I try to think of nothing…then I work on my breathing.  It’s so frustrating I eventually give up and figure I might as well do something else with my time.  Maybe wash the dishes or start a load of laundry.

I know someday I will look back on these years of motherhood and probably not really care that I missed sleep to feed my babies, or change wet beds, or calm a scared child. It will just be part of the memories I hold onto from the time I was given with my children. I only have them for a short while and every moment  I’m awake I get to enjoy them a little bit more.  And for that I give thanks. It’s almost as though I’m getting more hours in my day.  🙂

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